


why didn't you stay to say goodbye? (white, white, white.)

by orphan_account



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:25:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4668200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Couldn't put Humpty back together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	why didn't you stay to say goodbye? (white, white, white.)

He is aware that his name is Elliot Nightray.

Elliot Nightray opens his eyes to a world of light.

No, it would be better to call it a world of  _white_  instead.

He looked down and saw that he was wearing the pristine  _white_  of Lutwidge. Memories of his time in the dorms with L-- **who?**  He can't seem to remember. But he remembers hair, hair everywhere. He doesn't remember how they look like, but he knows that their eyes were unique; he remembers thinking how beautiful they are, and also how it's a shame for the owner to hide them behind glasses. That's all he remembers. Ah. Also that laugh, he doesn't remember the voice... he doesn't remember how it sounds; but he does remember how it made him smile as well.  _Elliot? Wake up, Elliot. Elliot? No... no please don't. No. Nononononononono aaaaaAAAAAAA--_

> _Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall._

He feels his head ache. Where was he again? Right. The world of  _white_. He doesn't know what he's doing here or how he ended up in here in the first place. He isn't even sure if there is a ground underneath him. He's standing, but he doesn't feel his feet touch anything.

 _If you misbehave, you'll be taken to the Abyss._  This couldn't be the Abyss, right? It was too... blank. He imagined the Abyss to be dark, terrifying, with... monsters lurking about. Monsters? Mon...sters. Chains, right? They were called Chains. He remembers them. Terrifying, hard to kill; he would know because one of them managed to sta--what? Stab him? He doesn't... no. It's a lie, of course he wouldn't allow a Chain to stab him, he's better than that. He was not a fool who jumped into a battle, without a plan, against something powerful, knowing that it could kill him. He was smart. 

> _Humpty Dumpty had a great fall._

Unlike him. The idiot blond with the green eyes. Short. Annoying. Loud.  _Liar._  And yet they were friends. He denied this vehemently. There was no way he could ever be friends with a--with him. His blood. The blood of a rival family. He can almost hear that annoying voice whine and complain that they were friends,  _we're friends Elliot, why do you still try to deny it?_  Shut up, Oz. Yes, his name was Oz. He remembers. Of course he does, it was such an easy name. Whoever named him probably wanted an easy name to write and remember. Oz. A frie--acquaintance of his who was too foolish. Who would get hurt for the sake of others, who would die for others. What a pathetic mindset to have. Oz, always clinging to him whenever he and... his friend,  _hair all over, eyes so beautiful_ , came to visit.  _Oz, red eyes, blood everywhere, scythe, the smell of rot and death, Sablier, Stand back, Le--_ he grips the side of his head again. It hurts. It hurts too much.

> _All the king's horses..._

He wants the pain to go away. He has to get over it. This pain was nothing. Nothing compared to that person's pain. Of course, he knows how hard it must have been for Gilbert. Ten years, was it? Waiting. Trying to form a contract. Even though everyone else from the Nightray family couldn't make a contract with the Winged Chain. Raven. A nickname Gilbert had taken.  _Hard to imagine that someone like Gilbert would be the--the pride of the family._  Hard to imagine? What was hard to imagine? Gilbert was... is one of the greatest brothers Elliot could have ever asked for. Adopted or not.

_Why didn't the poison work? It was supposed to kill him!_

_We'll burn the mansion down when everyone has been 'rescued'. That will kill those two... and that wretched servant._

_E-Elly? What are you doi--_

_THUMP._

> _All the king's men..._

He walks. He ignores the pain and walks in this spacious  _white_. There has to be a way. A way out? A way in? An exit? An entrance? He doesn't know what he's looking for, but he knows this isn't the place he's supposed to be in. This is not the end of his journey. Not yet at least.

The more he walks, the more he remembers things. The pain in his head is nothing but a dull throbbing now. His first practice on the piano, the first piece he learned to play, the first piece he composed.  _'Your son is learning very fast, Madam! You must be proud of him!' 'Yes, indeed I am.'_ _'Mother, happy birthday! I made this piece for you! Please listen!' 'Thank you, Elliot. I would love to hear it.'_

He remembers a conversation he had with... that person, _"Elliot, did you finish that piece you told me about? The one you compose every year as a present for your mother?"_ (He remembers the words that were spoken on that day, but he can't remember their voice. Why won't it come back?)

_"Yes, I finished that one..."_

_"... What's it like?"_

He remembers this music. He had made it for his mother, but instead chose to give it to this friend of his. This friend who he can't remember all too well. His friend loved it. Elliot played this song every time his friend felt upset.

_"Statice."_

_"Something that never changes, right? Do you like the language of flowers? That's a girl thing--"_

_"MY SISTER LIKES THAT STUFF! MY SISTER!"_

Vanessa. His only sister, Vanessa.

They had a lot to argue about. Something about Vanessa's disapproval of a choice of his. He remembers a throbbing cheek, a crying sister, and the need to protect her from everything (because she was the only one left). Elliot loves his sister and cares so much about her.

Another piercing pain in his head.

Vanessa's head.

Blood.

Decapitated.

Dead sister.

Mad Hatter grabbing his wrist.

**"You're the Headhunter!"**

No, it's not him. He's not. He can't be the murderer!

_"I'm sorry... Elliot."_

And suddenly everything hits him like a tidal wave.

Memories upon memories upon memories. Voices and faces and events that he was involved in. All the emotions he felt, all the danger he faced, all the wounds inflicted upon him.

He had tried to save him from the Chain. Sablier. Near Fianna. He was stabbed. His _white_ shirt turning blood red. He was dying, he should have died.  _Humpty Dumpty, say it's name, please just say it's name._

He remembers them. Every single one.

_**"Stand back, Leo!"** _

_**"I AM ELLIOT NIGHTRAY! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!"** _

_**"How did it come to this?"** _

_**"Humpty Dumpty, I reject you."** _

His name is Elliot Nightray.

And he remembers... that he's dead.

"I'm sorry, Leo." He says one last time.

He looks around him. There was no doubt about it, he was in the Abyss. There was no other place for him to end up in, right? But why was everything so bloody _white_?

**Author's Note:**

> :') bye.
> 
> i tried doing a... free-ish, rant-ish, scramble-y writing style to see if i liked it or if it was confusing... hmm... i don't know what to think about it, tbh.
> 
> also this is my first time writing Elliot and idk idk i'm not sure i did him any justice... sorry, Elliot. i love you lol


End file.
